The Dragonborn and Nep
by MiddonaitoShi
Summary: What happens when a semi-serious Dragonborn cross paths with the semi-serious Goddess of Planeptune? We don't actually know, even Marcurio here, oops. XD
1. Introduction

A young man clad in armor spoke out at a pub in Riften, a 'backwater Hold' as the young adventurer would describe. A young man is also with him, having that 'stupid guy gonna tell another of his stupid narrations again' look all over his face.

"Okay, so there I was, up at Helgen, the Imperials about to chop my head off, while I was saying 'Yeah! Come at me, Executioner! Chop my head up real good while I get this dazzling view!" the young adventurer narrated

"Ugh, just shut up," a mage then answered.

"YOU shut up, Marcurio! Anyways, I was about to get my head chopped up, then this dragon appeared outta nowhere and saved my almost beheaded butt."

Now then the mage, named Marcurio, is already irritated at his boss and said, "Dammit! Why did I let you be my boss?!"

"Coz I'm awesome! Well, unbeknowest to him and also me at the time, I'm someone named 'The Dragonborn', the one who'll kill dragons for good. And I laughed my butt off after hearing that from Jarl Balgruuf because I thought, 'That dragon saved his own mortal enemy! Bwahaha!' but hey, at least he saved my butt."

Marcurio just shook his head and facepalmed, "Why is the Dragonborn like this? He should be all serious and stuff, not some kid..."

Looking at Marcurio, the Dragonborn then said, "Eh, anyway, let's just get to Markarth and farm off from those tribes..."

"You mean the Forsworn, oh great Dovahkiin?" Marcurio emphasized the sarcasm of 'oh great Dovahkiin".

The Dragonborn ignored his sarcasm and, putting on the trademark iron helmet with horns, he shouted out, "Ready or not, I'm tearing up your buttcheeks, Alduin! But I gotta level up first..."

* * *

Walking down the road to Whiterun, farming off some bandits while at it, also encountering a dragon, The Dragonborn and Marcurio managed to stay alive and keep on track.

Marcurio decided to speak up, "Are you serious about killing Alduin the World Eater?"

"That's what the Dragonborn's supposed to do, right?"

"Imagine dying while not being able to defeat him."

The Dragonborn looked intently at Marcurio, and answered, "As long as I sacrifice my life for Skyrim, maybe all of Tamriel, then that's good. At least I tried."

"If only he was always this serious," Marcurio thought to himself. He had been with The Dragonborn for a year, diving through dungeons, defeating Dragons, traveling around Skyrim, but they haven't realized their goal of killing the World Eater. Marcurio wouldn't want to die for nothing, but The Dragonborn doesn't think of it that much.

"If only you were so serious..." Marcurio said.

"I can choose whether or not to be serious," The Dragonborn replied.

"*sigh* Yeah, yeah, sure Dovahkiin," Marcurio sarcastically replied as they went up to Whiterun's horse seller.

* * *

At least three-fourths away from Markarth, The Dragonborn and Marcurio got themselves some horses to ride. Yes, they can't just walk forever, you know. Dang, that would be tiring.

"Maybe it's time to recruit another party member," The Dragonborn thought to himself. He IS serious on stopping Alduin.

Marcurio lifted up his hood to see some sort of shooting star heading towards The Dragonborn, "Dovahkiin, look out!"

"What- WHAHAHA! RUN FOR DEAR LIFE, MARCURIO!"

 **CRASH!**

A few meters and The Dragonborn would be smushed hero meat. Marcurio rode up to where the crash site is. Glowing purple is what he'd describe. "What in the name of Akatosh is this?"

The Dragonborn then decided to check it out. "Stay back, Marcurio, we don't know what it is."

"Geez, I'm interested too, you know..."

Sliding gently on the crater, The Dragonborn walked up to see…

"What in Tamriel is this?"

* * *

AUTHOR NOTES:

Middonaito here! And here's a weird Skyrim/Neptunia fanfiction. I dunno if everything can work out, but just tell me if you want this to be a true series, and I'd be more than happy to keep writing this...

 **/ MIDDOSTATION ENDS HERE**


	2. How to Nep a Dovahkiin

"What in Tamriel is this?!" the Dragonborn could only speak out in shock. Remember last chapter that a mysterious purple meteor almost hit the Dragonborn and his only party member, Marcurio the Money-Laundering Mage Mercenary.

"Hey! What did you call me?! You fart of a narrator, I swear I'm gonna Lightning Chain you to pieces!"

*shrugs shoulders*

"Tch!"

Then, the Dragonborn called for the mage, "Hey, Marcurio, I think you're more of an expert at this than me. What is this?"

"Just wait..." Marcurio replied, descending to the crater. What he saw immediately made his jaw drop, literally. "Is that... IS THAT A GIRL?!"

"What did you say, Magic Otaku?"

"Don't pin me with Uraltugo Noi Nueph, dammit!"

And there they are, breaking the fourth wall. Hey, you two. You do know I'm gonna need to repair the wall with my hard-earned money, you know...

"Don't be like Trump, Narrator!" Marcurio retorted. I want to tell you readers, they somehow know words like Trump, Otaku and... Wait, did he just call Ugo by name?!

Ahem, going back to topic. What bewildered the great Hero and his companion is the appearance of a girl that has her head stuck on the ground like the Sword in the Stone. The two can't describe her attire, but I can. She's wearing a white and purple hoodie, sky blue and white striped stockings, and white shoes with purple highlights. Come on readers, you know who this is...

"Who the hell can survive that high of a fall?!"

The Dragonborn replied, "This chick may have access to one of those Shouts... Become Ethereal, was it?"

"What, you're saying that she's another Dragonborn?"

The hero shook his head, "No, no. I'm just saying that she might be a Greybeard..."

"A Greybeard? Her? No way."

"At least I have an idea, you unintelligent mage..."

"URUSAI! DO YOU WANT ME TO ZAP YOU, OH GREAT DOVAHKIIN?!"

The Dragonborn rolled his eyes and focused on the new character that just appeared out of nowhere. "Somehow, I can feel that she's someone really powerful... Hey, Marcurio, help me pull her out."

"As you wish, Dovahkiin..." Marcurio bowed, then stood beside the Dragonborn. Their plan is to pull the mysterious girl out, the Dragonborn pulling her by her right leg, and Marcurio by her left one. Stretching a bit, the two summoned all their strength.

"GRRRAAAAHHHH!"

"GHHHHHH...!"

But to no avail.

"What the hell?! She's really stuck! Marcurio, you're not pulling enough!"

"Who do you think I am?! I'm not all muscly like those brutes!"

"And look at me, I'm a Nord, but I'm not all brawn. Again!"

And they tried again... And again... And again...

They became so exhausted that they gave up on pulling the girl out. Both the Dragonborn and Marcurio drop down to the ground, all sweaty. Man, they're panting like crazy too!

"*pant* *pant* I... can't... anymore..."

"*pant* Too... *pant* exhausting..."

They stare into the night sky. Yes, they were there for like four hours, and now the stars replaced the sun. "Hey, Marcurio... You think she came from one of the Planes of Oblivion...?"

"What do you mean, Dragonborn?"

"Well..." the Dragonborn put his hands behind his head, "…Maybe that crazy Sheogorath, just maybe... Sent her here to bring crazy to this world..."

"What, like a serious play's comedic relief?"

"Exactly, Marcurio!"

"No... I mean, we're this world's two fourth wall breakers... What's crazier than that?"

"A Nep, that's who!"

Shocked to hear another voice, The Dragonborn and Marcurio stood up to see that the stuck girl is now unstuck!

"H-How did you get yourself unstuck?!"

"A protagonist always has a way to get out of trouble, busters! Say... Where am I, exactly?"

"Uh... You're from Sheogorath's place and you don't know about Skyrim, Tamriel?"

"Who's this Sheogorath? Anyways, where in Gamindustri is 'Skyrim, Tamriel'?"

"Game Kyoukai?" a perplexed Marcurio asked.

"Gamindustri... Hey, I'm pretty hungry, mind if we eat first?"

The Dragonborn and Marcurio looked at each other, _"Who the hell is this chick?"_ they both thought to themselves.

* * *

"So, mind if you introduce yourself?" the Dragonborn demanded. As of this moment, they are in Markarth's pub.

The Dragonborn, now wearing normal clothes instead of strapped armor, tapped his foot, waiting for an answer while waiting for the food as well. Meanwhile, Marcurio was reading a sort of spell tome.

"Behold, commoners, for you have laid your eyes on a Goddess, that is me, Neptune!" the lilac-haired girl proclaimed.

Cue the crickets chirping.

The Dragonborn kept his mouth shut while looking at Neptune with a skeptical face, while Marcurio temporarily took his eyes off his tome.

"Goddess who? There's no Neptune within the Nine Divines or the Daedric Princes, and even if you are a goddess, there is NO WAY that you are one."

"Dovahkiin, what if she orchestrated that publicity stunt to dine and dash on us?"

"Wait who is she, a Fang?"

Kudos to those who guess what game the Dragonborn referenced.

"I'm not lying!"

"Are you sure you didn't get amnesia or something?"

"Wait... Yes, amnesiac is my middle name, but I'm not one right now!"

The Dragonborn was taken aback, and decided to introduce himself, "Sheesh, whatever. I'm the Dragonborn. Normally, the player specifies my name but since no one is controlling me, I don't have a name, just The Swaginborn!"

Neptune's eyes glowed, "Oh my, a fourth wall breaker!"

"He's not the only one, you know..." Marcurio put his spell tome down, "I am Marcurio, the sane man and mage of this RPG party. The Dragonborn influenced me with his antics, so I just learned how to break the fourth wall."

"By the True Goddess, TWO fourth wall breakers! This is blasphemy!"

"Eh, blame it on that stupid cheese lover of a Daedric Prince..."

"What are you saying, Dovahkiin!?"

"What? You know we're buddies with that fart. He likes my humor."

"Yes, but still..."

"Hello, you two~"

Hearing Neptune's tone of voice, The Dragonborn gave attention to the ditz. He already knew what she was going to ask, "You want to know more about this world, am I right?"

Neptune nodded, and the Dragonborn began to tell the story of Tamriel, then to Skyrim's legend of the Dragonborn, to his year in adventure with Marcurio.

"Woah, you two actually did all those?"

"Yep. I have been with the Dragonborn for a year and we've been through worse together. Draugrs, Spiders... a bad case of dubstep…"

"What the, dubstep?"

"Eh, I don't even know what's happening here that a lot of things from many worlds had ended up here. Sheogorath must be having a hell lot of fun."

The Dragonborn then donned a stupid face, "But the question remains... Can I beat Alduin the World Eater with friendship and an Ancient Nord Greatsword?"

"Of course! I mean look at me, I had used the friendship cannon so many times that it isn't a cliche to my fandom anymore!"

"But, that doesn't explain how you survived that high of a fall... I mean, I knew someone that fell off High Hrothgar..."

* * *

 _"M-Marcurio?! Didn't the old men tell you to stay back?!"_

 _The Dragonborn had a face of disbelief after seeing Marcurio climb up a part of the Throat of the World without going through the Steps. And that's not all. The Dragonborn was undergoing a study of the Thu'um with the Greybeards._

 _Upon seeing the mage, the Greybeard that was supposed to shout the Whirlwind Sprint mistook his timing._

 _And upon the shout's effect, the Greybeard fell off the mountain. The Dragonborn and Marcurio looked at each other, then to the Greybeards._

 _Marcurio decided to speak up, "Uh... oops?"_

* * *

"This is between us, but Marcurio got his ass blown by the three Greybeards' Unrelenting Force. Oh man, I can't..."

"Dovahkiin! And you said you'd never bring it up..." Marcurio covered his face in embarrassment.

"Ah, don't worry... Marky..."

"M-Marky?"

"And you... Uh... Dovahkiin... Dovahkiin-kun?"

"Uh... Neptune... That doesn't make any sense..."

"Aw, sheesh, we're buddies now, right?"

The Dragonborn and Marcurio couldn't help but look at Neptune. In amazement. In peculiarity. In... Shock?

"Uhm... I guess we're cool..."

"Yay! Nice to meet you, Marky and Dovahkiin-kun!"

The Dragonborn sighed, "You need to work on my nickname more, Neptune..."

And as their food arrived, they ate to their heart's content. For another person had become acquainted with the future saviors of Tamriel.

* * *

AUTHOR NOTES:

Yes I know, 2 months later and I decide to update. The reason was that I lost my muse to write this, since I lost interest in Skyrim and I hopped into other bandwagons, but here it is! I'll work more on chapter length, though I want to update one of my fanfictions more than my crossovers. But, still. IT'S ALIVE!

 **/ MIDDOSTATION ENDS HERE**


End file.
